Maya's hair continued

Well, she wants to go darker?? Not sure where that came from. She also is thinking of letting her hair grow out, i know where that came from, and I'm not happy about. Oh well, it's her hair. :) Here are some darker heair styles I like:

So, thisis a start!!

Ok, yes I'm a nut job!

Ok, I have a confession to make...

I really think it's weird that I don't know what everyone is thinking or doing. Like Maya came home this weekend, but I haven't known what she was thinking or doing all summer. She's at the arcade down the street right now, and I don't know what she's thinking or doing. Mason lives in Tulsa and I have no idea what he is thinking right now. We just had a "herd" of young people walk in front of the house and they were laughing and yelling at each other. But I don't know that they were all having fun, because I'm not in their head hearing their thoughts. This isn't something that just popped in my head this summer, I've thought bout this along time and at length. 

Now’s the time for those how don’t know me well to decide if they want too. And for those of you who do know me well??  You know who you are (Dawn Hollar, and Karen Brumley, among MANY others) this doesn’t come as a surprise. And yes I’m in therapy, and yes I’m still on my meds. J

When I lived on the east coast I made a couple girlfriends that I will have for the rest of my life. Period. I still feel as close to them today as I did they last time I saw them and that was back in ’96, and we were only what 16? LOL! Another reminder of our age ladies, sorry. My point is I didn’t know what they were doing a lot of those years. I reconnected with Marion several times through the years, and in March of 2009 we found each other on Facebook. It’s like we were never apart. Michelle and I didn’t reconnect until January 2011. I looked online for her, but never seemed to find her. She finally found me again, on Facebook. We all just picked back up where we were. A little older, a lot wiser (or grown-up?) but I still feel that closeness that we had back then.

This shouldn’t surprise me. After I moved to Colorado I reconnected with several friends I had while growing up. Funny how that stuff works, I lived in Valley View from 1996 until 2007 and I didn’t reconnect with some of the best friends I’ve ever had until I moved away. They all lived within 20-30 miles of Valley View or less the whole time. Part of that is me being sober. I’ve been sober since September 2005, but I moved here in December 2007. I think part of me wouldn’t have wanted to move if I’d been close to them again, and everyone one of them would say this is where I belong. I’ve gotten close to girls from high school again, girls I haven’t talked to since graduation And it’s honestly weird to me that I didn’t know what they were doing all these years. Is it because of the connection we have regained? Something that we had before and I didn’t know? I was pretty oblivious to a lot of what was happening around me back then. For lots of reasons, and that’s a whole other blog, and therapy session.

Part of the point is I didn’t know what people around me were thinking? And that is weird to me. I don’t know maybe I think we should all have esp or something? I promise that you don’t want to walk around in here. LOL the other part is I don’t know what people around me now are thinking. What’s going through your mind right now? I’m not trying to be nosey, and I’m not worried if you don’t like me. I want everyone to like me, but that’s not up to me, and none of my business really. But what are you thinking of right this minute? Something on TV? Your kids, spouse, family? Friends? Work? What goes through your mind in a normal 24-hour period?  Mine races about 70% of the time, but that is getting much better. And before I got sober it raced 99% of the time. I could easily have a million thoughts an hour, sometimes all unrelated. Is that normal? I’ve been told yes, and I’ve been told no. Which is it?

I wonder if part of my problem is my sister?? How many times have I said that in my life?? Love ya Cindy. All kidding aside I used to say that she was my best friend, ever period. But she’s not my friend, she’s my sister and as much as I love my friends (some are like sisters. Again another blog, you know who you are, and probably more therapy. LOL Example; I know exactly what Dawn Hollar will say about this blog. I have no doubt in my mind) And if I get still enough right now I can tell you what Cindy is thinking. I’m right on most of the time, and I bet she would say the same about me. The last week while I was in the hospital and in bed after my appendectomy I knew what she was thinking with out her telling me, that she should be here, that I needed her here. I would have thought the same thing if it had been her. We have a different connection, one that I can’t explain. Probably because we are a lot a like, and we shared a room for like ever. It’s just that we are like the same person sometimes.

I don’t know where I’m going with all this it’s just stuff that’s been rolling around up there for a couple weeks, and thought maybe I needed to get it out?

Places in the world I want to see.

There are lots of reasons I named my Blog, Ya Gotta Start Somewhere.

1. I've always been a procrastinator, but if I can just get started on a project I want to do, I will usually finish.

2. I say this alot when I have a daunting task ahead of me, at work. It motivates me to just find a place to start, and not worry about the outcome.

3. Over the course of the last seven years I have worked hard to change my life, and sometimes my fear of change can stop me in my tracks. If I just surrender and start the change I want the fear disappears(sometimes).

There are more reasons, but we will get to them later.

I love to travel. I love seeing new places, new things, I like watching people in their environment. I also love history, learing about other cultures, their customs, the way the raise their children, their religous and spiritual beliefs.  One day I hope to be able to travel to some of the places where ancient, and not so ancient civilazations have made their mark.

Of course that's not the only reason I love to travel. I love being in nature, outside breathing in the air, and the smells. Feeling the sun, or wind, or rain, or snow on my face.

I was going to call this part one in a series, but I think I’ll say it is a continuing story.

The first place I want to talk about, is probably the place I want to see the most. Plus it’s probably one of the places that I will never have the chance to see.

Machu Picchu:

 Archaeologists believe that Machu Picchu (meaning 'Old Peak' in the Quechua language) was an estate for the Inca emperor Pachacuti (1438–1472).

It is located in the Andes Mountains, and is at an altitude of 11,800 ft.

It’s often referred to as the "City of the Incas", it is probably the most familiar city of the Inca World. The Incas started building it around 1400. Carved from the gray granite of the mountaintop the Inca turned the site into a small (5 square miles) but extraordinary city. Invisible from below and completely self-contained, surrounded by agricultural terraces sufficient to feed the population, and watered by natural springs. The city sits above the rumbling Urubamba River, shrouded in the clouds; the ruins have palaces, baths, temples, storage rooms and some 150 houses, all in a remarkable state of preservation.

The Inca had the greatest empire on Earth, when Columbus landed in the New World. It spanned more than 4300 miles along the mountains, and coastal deserts of South America. Starting in central Chile, the empire included most of Peru, Bolivia, Ecuador, and Northwest Argentina. This is equal to the land from Maine to Florida. It exceeded the size of any medieval or contemporary European nation, and equaled the longitudinal expanse of the Roman Empire.

The American historian Hiram Bingham rediscovered the city in 1911.

Since then, Machu Picchu has become an important tourist attraction. Most of the outlying buildings have been reconstructed in order to give tourists a better idea of what the structures originally looked like. By 1976, thirty percent of Machu Picchu had been restored. The restoration work continues to this day.

In 1983 UNESCO designated Machu Picchu a World Heritage Site, describing it as "an absolute masterpiece of architecture and a unique testimony to the Inca civilization".

In 2007, Machu Picchu was voted one of the New Seven Wonders of the World in a worldwide Internet poll.

The World Monuments Fund placed Machu Picchu on its 2008 Watch List of the 100 Most Endangered Sites in the world because of environmental degradation. This is because of tourism, and development of Aguas Calientes a nearby town, which included a poorly sited tram to ease visitor access, and the construction of a bridge across the Vilcanota River, which is likely to bring even more tourists to the site, in defiance of a court order and government protests against it.

In July 2011, the Dirección Regional de Cultura Cusco (DRC) introduced new entrance rules to the citadel of Machu Picchu.The tougher entrance rules were a measure to reduce the impact of tourism on the site. Entrance was limited to 2,500 visitors per day, and entrance to Huayna Picchu (within the citadel) was further restricted to 400 visitors per day, in two allocated time slots at 7am and 10am.

In May 2012, however, a team of UNESCO conservation experts called on Peruvian authorities to take "emergency measures" to further stabilize the site’s buffer zone and protect it from pressure as a result of tourism-related development.

I could go on writing about the history of the site, and the Inca’s, but I’ll let you do that if you want.

There are two sites that I recommend if you want to read more information on the Incas and their civilization.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Machu_Picchu

http://sacredsites.com/americas/peru/machu_picchu.html

Living the Dream...............

We have an awesome classic rock station here in the Springs. I don’t have a radio in my office at work, and we aren’t allowed to listen to radio stations online, so I have put most of my CD’s on my computer, and don’t get me wrong I love having them on there. But they are mostly classic country, a few classic rock bands (the Beatles and CCR), and several of my favorite bands from today. So every morning, and every afternoon I listen to classic rock, and well, have a concert in my SUV.

       On Tuesdays they have two fer Tuesdays, and play two songs from the same artist in a row. Last Tuesday coming home from work they played Joan Jett, first they played “I love

 rock n roll”, and then they played “I hate myself for loving you”. I was singing at the top of my lungs, having a great time. When the song was over I immediately thought, I so want to be a rock star. That would so, be living the dream.

Like everyone else who grew up in this country I wanted to be a rock star growing up, and lots of other things too. I wanted to be a writer, and write books. I wanted to be a journalist, and travel the world writing stories for magazines. I wanted to be a wildlife photographer. I wanted to be a marine biologist. There were lots of things that I wanted to be as a child. I wanted to live the dream.

     When I was 9 our family took our first vacation to Colorado. We went to Lake City, and we had so much fun. There is a lake there called Lake San Cristobal. It’s one of the most beautiful lakes I’ve ever seen. We also rented a Jeep for the day and went over Cinnamon Pass. 

The road we took was, to say the least, not wide enough. If you have ever been on one of the small dirt county maintained roads in Colorado you know exactly what I’m talking about. If you are sitting on the passengers side you can put our hand out the window and lay it flat against the mountain. If you are on the drivers side? Well you can stick your head out the window and look straight down and see the bottom of the mountain. Needless to say it was exhilarating and scary at the same time. And you have ever road in the car with Max driving? Well I was 9 then, but I would question my sanity if I road with him on a road like that today. To make matters worse there was a truck and camper about half way down the side that had slide off the road. When we finally started down hill, the clutch on the jeep went out. At the time I didn’t understand what that meant, so in my head when were all going to DIE!!

Of course we didn’t. And that was one of my favorite vacations of all time. When it was time to go home, we stopped and went fishing at the lake just one more time. Dillon caught a beautiful Rainbow Trout. He was so happy. Max told him to get it off the hook and throw it back, so we could leave. I don’t remember much about the drive home. We were all exhausted and probably slept the whole way.

I do remember telling God that someday I was going to live in Colorado. On the way to lake City we drove over a pass in southern Colorado. If I remember right it was state hwy 165. It goes through Colorado City, to Rye, and then Lake San Isabel. Between Rye, and San Isabel there is a place where there are no trees when you're looking toward the east. This view is one of the first times in my life I knew in my heart that there is something bigger out there than my daddy. The feeling of over whelming goodness, like, well, peace that passes all understanding. It was the presence of God. At the time I didn’t understand what I was feeling. I thought that I just thought it was a beautiful place, and dreamed of living there. The view is indescribable, its like you can see Kansas, or ever further. It’s still one of my favorite places to go, and we go to Lake San Isabel, frequently during the summer.

                   Lake San Isabel 

   

                      Lake City Colorado

              Lake San Cristobol

                     

                  Cinnamon Pass

When we were kids we actually took a lot of vacations. By a lot I mean, living on a dairy daddy couldn’t just up and take us anywhere. I thought it was awesome that he took us places that were different than Valley View. I mean let’s face it, Valley View ain’t got NOTHING on Colorado.  When I was in the fourth grade he took us to the Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo. We were so excited. Not only were we going to get to go to a huge city, and maybe see the ocean for the first time. We got to skip school for a whole week. What’s better than that? I honestly don’t remember a whole lot about the trip. I remember going to the cattle barns at the show. I can’t remember if we went to the rodeo or not, or even what our hotel was like. But I do remember getting a tour of Astro Stadium. They took us though on of the VIP Boxes, and it was amazing. I remember this huge long wooden bar, with a gold handle all the way down the front. (LOL, there’s more than a little irony there.) The carpet was so soft, and a beautiful red. It was so cool.

                   Astrodome

The next day, I think, we went to Galveston. This was the first time I had been to an island. It was also the first time I road over a bridge that high and over that much water. It wasn’t Willis Bridge, for sure. I don’t know if we went straight to Seawall Blv, or not. I know we stayed the night in Galveston.

                  Galveston Texas

When we were driving down the Seawall Blv, we could see the ocean, but not really well. We stopped at a parking lot close to a hotel that is out over the water on stilts. And I swear Dillon, and I saw a shark fin right by one of the silts the hotel is on. Of course looking back who knows what we saw. It could have been a dolphin, it could have even been our over active imaginations. When we got out of the car and ran down to the beach I was floored. I remember just sitting down right at the edge of the water. The sand was all wet, and it was February, so it wasn’t exactly warm. But looking at the water I had that same indescribable feeling. Like I was seeing something bigger than daddy. I was filled with emotions, that at that age I really didn’t understand. But again, it was peaceful, a good feeling, like everything was going to be ok. It was the presence of God, again.

I don’t remember telling god I was going to live by the ocean after that, but I may have. In later years I thought about what a dream come true it would be if I could live by the ocean.

       Ok, so back to living the dream. I’m honest enough to say that all the bad stuff I’ve been through as an adult was my fault, I made bad choices, and had lots of self-loathing. When I woke up at 35 and looked at my life? Well I was NOT living the dream; in fact I wasn’t even close to the dream. I didn’t even know what the dream was, or what it should be.

The last few years as I have worked on getting to a better place in life, I just wanted to be happy. I wanted to have a good life for me and my kids. As I worked toward that goal (I’m still working toward it, and probably always will be), my dreams started changing. When people asked what I wanted out of life, my answer was becoming simpler, and easier. I wanted to be happy. I wanted to be the best mother, daughter, friend I could possibly be.

        In June of 2007 the company I work for made an announcement in a meeting for all the employees. They were moving the company to Colorado Springs, and wanted to offer some of us an opportunity to move with the company.

I was like WHOA, WHAT?? That also happened to be the day that I had to report to county jail for driving with a suspended drivers license. I went to the noon meeting, and was planning to run home and get a few things done before I had to report. I sobbed through the entire meeting. I mean I barely held it together. After the meeting a friend said to me “Rhonda, lots of people have gone to jail. You are only going to be there for 5 days.” I laughed and said, “I’m not sad about going to jail. I found out today that I’m moving to Colorado.”

      I’ve been here since December 2007, and it still amazes me. I live at the base of Pike’s Peak. We have a really cute neighbor, a brown bear that’s probably about a year old. It lives behind out townhouse. In the mornings I drive by Garden of the Gods to get to work. The morning sun shines on the red sandstone of the formations, and makes them look like gold. We have s stream across the street that’s full of trout.  It’s truly like being on vacation every single day.

Most importantly, I met a man that loves me more than life it’s self. And he loves my children like they are is own flesh and blood. I have a family here that loves us more than anything in the world. I’ve made friends here that are some of the best friends I’ve ever had in my life. Plus I’ve come to realize I’ve that my friends and family back in Texas love me more than I ever realized. That I took them for granted for far too long, and I miss them everyday.

       Living the dream?? You’re damn right I’m living the dream. Not only that but I’m living the life God wants me to have, because with out him none of this would have been possible.

I wonder some times if I ever felt like it did on that mountain, and on the beach again, and just don’t remember. I don’t think so. I’m not even sure if I will ever truly have that peace in me again. Truthfully if those two times end up being the only times in my life that I will have that feeling, I will always see it as a blessing that I was able to feel that peace at all. Some people go through this life and never get to have that experience.

       All in all, I don’t think I could have dreamed this life that I have now. It’s so much better than I thought life could be. And I thank god everyday that he gave all this to me.

PS: Dillon threw his Rainbow Trout in the truck of the car. He didn’t want to let it go, he wanted to eat it, I think. So one thing I do remember about the trip home is stopping somewhere and getting the fish out of the trunk. I can’t remember how long it took to get that smell out of mom’s car though.

Where did the time go?

Have you ever felt like you woke up one morning and while you were sleeping time was on fast-forward? I've felt like that for the past couple months. My daughter will be starting high school this fall, and I'm not sure when she grew up. One day she was a little blonde ball of energy playing with her baby dolls, pacifier in her mouth, posing for the camera, and the next she's wearing the same size shoe as I do (which isn't really a bad thing), watching anime on the computer, and wearing a bra??

    We are both excited about school this year. She is because she FINALLY doesn't have to wear uniforms to school. I am because she will be going to a local high school with a fine arts program. She's excited about that too. When we were looking for a high school that was one of her criteria. There are two in our area, neither in the school district we lived in. When we finally settled on Manitou Springs High I was thrilled. I love living in Colorado Springs, but we spent most weekends in or around Manitou. They have lots of activities, especially on holidays. Every year they have parades for Mardi Gras, Halloween (the Emma Crawford Coffin Races, there will be a separate blog on this eventually), a Victorian Easter Egg Hunt at Miramount Castle, concerts on the lawn at the library, really there are far too many to mention here. I think the most important thing that drew us here is the artistry. There are so many local artists here, and almost every shop in town showcases at least one, if not more, of their work. We come from an artistic family, and even though I'm not particularly good at it? She is very artistic. She loves to write, she loves to make up stories. She has a running dialog with her best friend. They have been writing it for a while, and sometimes that's all they do all weekend. She also has a really good eye for color, and fashion. She's not a girly girl like she was when she was little, but she loves clothes. She used to design clothes when she was younger, now she is into cosplay. (That's a trend in Japan where people dress up like characters from anime, books, or cartoons.)

  She goes to Texas and Oklahoma every summer to spend time with family, and this year while she has been away, I've been saving pictures of hairstyles for her to look at for school. She colors her hair before she leaves in the summer, and this year it was purple and pink. She always had to make sure it was gone before school started in the fall, because the school dress code. This year she can have any hair color and style she wants. We have an awesome hair stylist, and he will be able to do anything she wants done. She is coming home in three weeks, and I have tons of pictures for her to look through. So I thought I would share them on here, and she if anyone had opinions. So here are some of the options I think she should consider.

Of course some of these are a little out there, but she's still a teenager and will want to have her own style. I'm all for that actually, when it comes to her hair. Teenage girls all go through periods of self expression through their clothes, hair, make-up, and jewelry. And since I'm going to be in control of EVERYTHING she wears out of this house, I'm willing to give in on her hair styles.

Ya gotta start somewhere............